Monday, March 27, 2017

Planning the Temporary Escape

The director of the hospital told me that I would be receiving an additional assignment that would get me out of my current work area “a few times a week.”

He said this before and it never happened.

The job is some kind of review of documentation or incidents.  I don’t know.  I just want out of my hellhole.

One of the women who works in one of the departments that reviews such stuff saw me later.  (I wander quite a bit to avoid my supervisor and her followers.)  She is computer illiterate.  I impressed her a while back with simple numbers on an excel spreadsheet.  She told me about more numbers that she thinks she needs.  I agreed and suggested more projects, which she accepted as legitimate.  She added that another person in the department is going on maternity leave soon.

My plan is to migrate away from my supervisor and home base and be more of an information gatherer, requiring me to be anywhere in the hospital at anytime.  I would touch base with my supervisor now and then, but merely to tell her how much work I have to do for these review projects with spreadsheets of numbers.  My supervisor is also computer illiterate, so she would have no idea if a project took five minutes or five months.

My plans usually blow up in my face, but if others can get away with being roamers while producing no work, then surely I can be incognito while producing tangible reports, yes?

Sunday, March 26, 2017

Navigating Safely through the Snake Pit

The parking lot outburst is still on my mind.

I spoke to a friend who is not connected to the hospital.

She said that I did well to not engage the woman during the tirade.  It is best to avoid her if possible.  I should not respond to further verbal attacks because that drains me emotionally while fueling that woman’s anger and hatred.

My goal is to sanely and safely navigate the place until I can get out.

Saturday, March 25, 2017

Reminder that the Worst is Yet to Come

For the past several days, I have been covering a different office within the hospital.

So I have not crossed paths with that horrible woman whoscreamed at me in the parking lot.

One of the nurses who is friendly with me asked me for something for a patient.  The problem is that the item is stored in my home base, which is where the nasty woman works.

So I put off the request.  She persisted.  I told her she had to go with me.

I made her rush in and rush out after grabbing the item.

As we walked through the hallways, she observed to me:

-- This woman has yelled at me before and she will do it again.  She hates me for no logical reason and this will not change.

-- Her hatred has festered, not lessened, over the last few months because I escaped her attempt at getting me fired.

-- View her outburst as a warning that she will attack again and it will be worse.

Wednesday, March 22, 2017

Parking Lot Tirade

Normally my flee to the parking lot after work is my run to freedom.

One of the horrible women who occupies space in my work setting approached me.  She yelled at me that I can’t talk about her and if I have something to say to her to say it to her face.

There were expletives and atrocious grammar violations that I spared you.

She was out last week.  I was floated most of this week.  So we did not cross paths for almost two weeks.  Perhaps the missed daily insults and tirades built up and she had to release it in the parking lot.

I was caught off guard.  Yes, I know she is nasty and loud.  Her allegations made no sense.  At first, I didn’t know if she was attacking me or just talking in her normal tone.  She screamed that I float.

“Yes,” I said cautiously.  (By the way, talking in a low, calm voice does not make her stop screaming.)

Then she started screaming that I’m not allowed to talk about her.

I said nothing further.  I didn’t know if she was going to physically attack.  She’s small, but when someone is that angry and determined, they can have massive physical strength fueled by their strong emotions.  I am still physically weak and injured, so I did not know how well my martial arts training would hold up in a physical altercation.  Plus, she would go to the police with witnesses that I started it, which would be more believable if she ended up more injured than me.

The timing of this outburst coincides with my direct supervisor starting vacation.  Whenever the supervisor is out, this brat becomes nastier and more aggressive towards me.  During my recent absence, the brat bonded with my supervisor.  They redecorated the office.  They do this when I am not there.

It’s them against me.  While some of the people in the hospital are nice, they will not step up to defend me.

My plan is to continue floating somehow in spite of my supervisor’s absence so I can avoid this piece of trash until my supervisor returns and she has to act decent.  I also will not leave before her.  She waits by the time clock to punch out as the clock strikes quitting time.  This particular day, I left promptly to make a doctor’s appointment.  I can’t do that anymore.

Sunday, March 12, 2017

Raffling Nothing Because Integrity is Gone

As I was leaving one of the wards, I noticed an orderly had set up a table next to the door with colorful papers.  She is not one to do arts and crafts with the patients, so I wondered what she was doing.

"Are you buying a raffle ticket for my birthday?" she said to me.  Not really asking.  More telling.

"What?" I was surprised.

She was annoyed.  "A raffle ticket for my birthday," she said, adding, "Are you deaf?"

I left.  I wanted to answer with something along the lines of, "No, I am not deaf or stupid," but this would have been taken to a higher authority and I would have lost.  Clearly this woman is a bad salesperson as well as a bad employee, but she must have connections in higher places to be allowed to do this nonsense openly.

In the hallway, I saw handwritten ads for her birthday raffle.  The prize was a $50 gift card to some fish restaurant I never heard of.  The main psychiatrist for the ward strolled past me while I was trying to comprehend why an employee would think this behavior is acceptable.

"Doctor," I said, "Are you aware that someone who should be a patient, but is not, is selling raffle tickets for her own personal benefit at the door to your ward?"

He smiled.  "Yes, I am aware.  And you are probably aware that there is nothing I can do about this, and this is not the worst thing that happens around here."

We chuckled and parted ways.

Wednesday, March 1, 2017

Airing Dirty Linen

The housekeeper yelled at me.

Why is this so upsetting?

It was a misunderstanding.  The bin of used linen was full.  It never contains anything because we never use linen in my area, only disposable.

But today I was out of disposable table covers.  I needed linen for a few different patients, so the linen bin filled up.  It was not overflowing.  (Getting supplies is a very slow process.)

I cleaned the room myself.  I always do because it will not get cleaned otherwise.  It’s not a big deal if the linen bin does not get emptied.  I would do it myself the next day.

In this facility, the approach I have with people is: If they choose to do their job, great.  If not, their job falls on me.  I have no recourse at this point.

Housekeeping does not clean my area or empty the trash cans.  I have been doing this myself for years.  I didn’t empty the linen because it was time for me to leave and it would be waiting for me the next morning.  Just like the trash can or any spills.  Nothing unusual.

The housekeeper arrived at the end of my shift and stared at the full bin of linen.  “What happened in here?” he asked.

“Oh, we used a few sheets today.  We don’t usually, but today we did,” I answered.

That’s when he started yelling.  In front of a bunch of people, including my supervisor.

“You don’t have to tell me to clean.  I always do my job.  Who do you think you are, telling me something needs cleaning?  I clean every night!  I don’t need you telling me what to do.  I’m getting out of here!  I don’t have to take this abuse!” and he pushed his cart down the hallway and out of sight as quickly as the overburdened wheels could go.

I never know what to say when this happens.  Inside my head, I’m thinking that this makes sense.  I am an awful person.  I thought we had a decent working relationship, but in reality, I was being horrible and he was letting it slide until now.

My supervisor had to make this into a bigger deal.  “What did you do to upset him so much?” she announced in front of the crowd.

“I don’t know,” I whispered.  “I didn’t intend any harm.”

She continued in a raised voice, “You see, this is your problem.  You don’t worry about how your words will hurt other people.”

The entire way home I thought about ways I could retreat more into my shell at work.  Barely speak, yet not appear to be condescendingly ignoring people.

I compartmentalize.  Leave this behind at work.  Leave it behind in the moment it happened.  But this is still bothering me.  Maybe writing this story will help me put it to rest.

Sunday, February 5, 2017

Dodging Accusations but not Damage

I have not posted much in the last few months because something bad happened at work.  I feel so stupid writing this months later because I am still employed at this place and cannot find another job.

What happened
My immediate supervisor, Linda, orchestrated an accusation against me.  It did not involve patients, thank goodness.  I will not divulge details here, lest someone read this, so I hope this is clear enough.

I had a day off and arrived back to the office area, now filled with stacks and bags of papers everywhere.  Everyone ignored me.  Linda was flurried and nervous, repeatedly telling me that there was a mandatory staff meeting at 10 o'clock.

I quietly hid out and overheard some conversations about other employees being witnesses against me.  Forewarned, I reviewed the hospital's policies on the topics.

At the meeting were my supervisor, her supervisor, and another managerial nurse to "discuss the charges against Enid."

I did my best to act surprised and confused.  I really was, but I had two hours to prepare.

I could have stopped the process and demanded union representation.  I did not do this because I planned on using the lack of union representation as a defense if they decided in this meeting that I was guilty.  The event was called a "staff meeting," after all, not a trial.

Doing my best to appear bewildered and not accusatory towards my supervisor, I explained that the wrong-doings I was accused of were:
-Things that my supervisor told me to do
-Knew that I was doing because she watches me all day
-Were projects worked on for the past eight weeks and were not a secret, one-time event

The idea that this was not a slam-dunk against me was starting to form in the other nurses' minds.  My supervisor sat there with an angry pout.

I needed to damage her more.

I explained that these projects, now turned into charges against me, were undertaken because we can't find anything because Linda makes multiple copies of everything; she does not secure patient medical files; and she sends out protected health information without a signed release.  The theme was that she is a hoarder with no regard for privacy regulations.  I cited hospital policies for all of this.

The other two nurses were shocked with every accusation I threw out.  My idiot supervisor admitted to each one with, "Yes, but it is just easier this way."  She grew increasingly flustered and angry.  I remained calm.  Inside, I was nervous and angry.

After the meeting, I went to lunch and then hid out in a storage room until the end of the shift.

The next day, she was still angry.  "You made me look stupid," she complained to me.

"That was a very stupid thing you did," I answered back.  "I have done nothing to you that was so horrible that you had to lodge false accusations against me."

"Well, I had a question, and the lady I usually go to for my questions was not here that day, so I had to go to the director of the hospital instead," she explained.

"On my day off?  You were confused about an issue that was not important and instead of waiting for me to discuss, you went to the director of the hospital and filed a formal complaint against me?  That is your explanation?  You accidentally prosecuted me?"

She stood there, staring at me.  She didn't get it.

"When I came into work, I could have been fired, reported to the board of nursing, or even arrested because of your false claims," I continued.

"No, you are making this into a big deal," she tried.

"No, this is a big deal.  I understand that you don't like me, but your scheme was out of proportion to anything I have done.  What you did to me is what you would do to someone who had an affair with your husband or purposely burned down your house.  I can't work with someone who plotted against me for months for no reason.  You can't name a single thing I did to you, can you?" I stood there, waiting for her response.

"You don't get it," I continued.  "You need to apologize to me, which you will never do because you don't see that you did anything wrong.  You are upset that I successfully defended myself against your false charges.  If you want me out of your department, all you have to do is say so.  You didn't need to do this."

Going to the Director

A week went by.  I needed proof that the charges were cleared, but no supervisor would provide anything in writing.  I went to the director of the hospital to make sure that he understood the situation from my angle.

He was confused.  We enlightened each other.  When my supervisor initially went to him with her accusations, he investigated, found the allegations ridiculous, and told her to get rid of the piles of "evidence" against me because they were a fire hazard.

Wow.  This made my supervisor look even more evil.  "This was not shared with me at the two hour inquisition," I explained.

He said he did not know that they pursued the charges.  I listed the attendees and his face reddened.  "They are jealous of you, that is why they did this," he said.

"I need out of that department," I explained.  "I can't work with someone who went to such lengths to get me in serious trouble and continued in spite of your order to stop."

He agreed.  "Until I can figure something out, just stay in your office and work on your computer and ignore the rest of them."

"But I don't have a desk or office or computer," I said.  "Everything was rearranged so that everyone but me has a work station."

"I will find somewhere for you!" he exclaimed.  Will not happen.

Going back to my supervisor

I confronted my supervisor.  "The director of this hospital told me that after you filed charges against me, he investigated and told you the charges were unfounded.  Is this true?"

She was surprised, but said nothing.

I said, "This new information makes you look more evil than I originally thought.  You staged this bad situation, were ordered to stop, and continued anyway."  She said nothing.  "I am done.  I will help the doctors with the patients, but that's it until I get transferred out."


My home base is still this office area.  No words have been exchanged between any of the other staff and me, except necessary talking with my supervisor.

The events were reported to the union by me for documentation and to ruffle the involved nurses.  Nothing will happen to them for this attempt to set me up.

Like other employees, I do the bare minimum, which is a struggle for me because that is not my work ethic.  When my supervisor tells me to do paperwork or filing, I tell her "I am not falling for that trick again" or "put it in writing so I have protection when you change your mind."

I still do not have my own work space.  I try to stay in hiding places throughout the hospital.

She still does not understand the irreparable harm done to our working relationship.  "But that thing was dropped!" she says often.  I was vindicated.  She was not.  She does not understand that I cannot trust her.  She and her buddies are probably actively plotting their next attack.