Friday, September 28, 2012

Patient Muse

Bugs reside at the hospital alongside the humans.  They aren't the kind that migrate towards dirt or food.  We see mostly stink bugs, bed bugs, cockroaches, and the occasional winged creature that flies in from the porch.  When a new colony is discovered, my skin crawls.  I shake out my clothes and bag before leaving to try to rid myself of carrying the creatures to my home, where I have my own brand of creepy crawly.  I am not sure what they are.  They look like a cross between a spider, a frog, and a hairy caterpillar.  When I worked at the nursing home, they were all over the walls and floors.  I stepped on a very large one when I walked into a dark room on rounds one night.  That sound of crunch and squish stayed with me.  They must have followed me home and taken up residence and I don't want to repeat this situation with the critters at the hospital.

Cousin of my pests

We exchange bug stories and theorize about their sources and exterminations.  One of the more colorful patients decided to show off in front of a group of nursing students who had just arrived for clinical.  I was showing the students around the unit when this patient told them what she thought about me.  "This one is such a whore, if she can't find a man, she lets those hairy caterpillars climb up her vagina."  The students turned red, but I laughed.

"That great!" I told the patient.  "I'm writing that one down."

No comments:

Post a Comment