Saturday, January 19, 2013

Go back in with a plan

I had some friends read the complaints about me.  They laughed and laughed.  The complaints are actually quite funny, if your job is not on the line because of them.

They told me to own the word in most of the complaints:  ALOOF.  They pointed out that it's too consistently used and is one of the few words used to describe my supposed unfair treatment of other people.  So I should work ALOOF into all of my verbal interactions with my coworkers, and speak in a Minnie Mouse, especially squeaky voice.

ALOOF is not a word that I can even recall hearing at work, and we have to describe the behavior of patients.  Disinterested, keeps to self, isolates self- these are words or phrases similar to ALOOF, but ALOOF I have never seen.  Makes the whole thing even more suspicious.

The thought of returning to this environment makes me sick.  So I called out.  On speakerphone, just so I had ear witnesses of my claims.

Other person:  Baboogooleeboonii.
Me:  Hello.  This is Nurse ---.  I am calling out sick for the day shift tomorrow.
Other person:  Gaagoolikonnuu.
Me:  Who am I speaking to?
Other person:  Munaalikewumuwanupi.

They burst out laughing.  "And they complained about your voice?  A drunk with his jaw wired shut is easier to understand."


  1. I think you should use a different voice each time you talk to someone at work. When they ask what's wrong with you act as if you have no idea what they're talking about. Start acting like you're axis II patients, again feign ignorance. Keep them on their toes. If nothing else you'll have fun screwing with them. I need to start travel nursing just so I can go work with you to help fuck with your asshole coworkers that so obviously should be the pts not the nurses. (holy run in sentence Batman)

  2. Thank you!
    Outright denial seems popular in this place and I was toying with the idea of doing it myself.