Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Cats and Dogs

The lazy clerk asked about my cat.

This is strange because she never asks any nice questions.  Also, I don't have a cat.

"I don't have a cat," I answered.

"Yes, you do.  You have lots of them, actually.  You are always telling me about them.  So what happened, you got rid of them?"

"I have never discussed cats with you, ever," I answered her.

She replied, "Well, if you never stood there and told me story after story about your damn cats, then I must be going crazy."  Yup.  You are.

I told her, "I have no cats.  I watch cat videos on the internet like everyone else, but I don't have cats of my own."

She was confused.  "So your cats are in videos on the internet?"

I tried explaining to her the concept of cat videos and their abundance on the internet, but she had never heard of cat videos and was not grasping the concept.

Most of the people I've worked with do not have pets.  They verbalize their disgust when they hear about Americans allowing cats and dogs inside the home.

I don't like talking about animals with coworkers because someone tells the same sad story:  "My son brought home a little white dog once.  It was cute.  Damn thing cost me $700 to buy from a breeder.  I had to go with my son to some house.  Dogs were everywhere.  When I heard how much they get for a baby dog, I thought about going into the business.  But I can't have all them dogs up in my house, pissing.  It's better to have them in the yard, but my landlady would never go for that.  Anyway, this dog would throw up, it started limping, all while getting bigger and bigger.  Finally I had to put it out on the street.  Who wants some sick, nasty, big dog in their house?"

Nobody has ever heard of bringing a pet to the vet.  Multiple people chime in that they had to give their children's beloved cat or dog to the humane society "when it got sick."

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