Sunday, October 5, 2014

The Skill of Gobbledygook

On the ward, I was leafing through a pile of papers, looking for something good, and I found it!  Nurse Fortune's letter explaining why she should have received the in-house jobs that she applied for.  The body of the letter took up half a page- and was ONE LONG SENTENCE.

The gist of Fortune's claim was that she has been employed at the hospital longer than the people who received the transfers and she has done nothing wrong; therefore, the jobs should have gone to her.

She did not address the fact that other nurses applied but did not receive the jobs- and most of them have seniority over her.  If the hospital agreed with Nurse Fortune's reasoning, that the jobs should be given to the nurses with the longest length of service, then Nurse Fortune still would not have qualified.

Aside from the misspellings, grammar atrocities, and illogical reasoning, the letter was most notable for words and phrases that made no sense.

"Absent a egregious commissions on the parts of the objecter . . ."

"In compliance and not irregularities of the standardize mechanism of the operations . . ."

"Outwardly projecting the governance of the matrix and by core competencies . . ."

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