Friday, March 27, 2015

Labs and Labels

I was quietly sitting in my office when one of the night shift nurses came through.  The term that best describes her is "dingbat."  She happened to see me and said, "Oh, good!" as she changed course to come directly at me.  "I believe this is yours," she declared, as she thrust a cup of some liquid at me.  Probably urine.  But you never know.

"Where do you want me to put it?" she asked, as if I should be providing her with direction.

"I don't know what that is, but whatever it is, it does not belong anywhere near me," I answered.

"It's urine," she stated.

"I didn't ask what it is.  Please, get it out of here," I directed, again.

"But this is the lab," she continued to inform me.

"This is not a lab!  Does this look like a lab to you?  It's an office!"  I do not miss her daily morning stupidity that I used to endure.

"So what do I do with it?" she asked.

"You bring it to the pick up area, just as you have been doing for the last 35 years," I bellowed.  I was losing it.

"Well, I don't know.  I'm not in the lab like you.  I'm just going to leave it out here for you to take care of later," she said.  Indeed, she went into the hallway, placed the cup of urine on a ledge, and walked away.

I called after her.  "The specimen will be thrown out with no label!"

She kept walking.

You see why, when I worked the floor, I had to repeat every specimen collection she did.

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