Tuesday, May 5, 2015

Compartment Coping

It's a constant struggle, coping with my job.

I am trying to compartmentalize.

My employer provides me with two very important things that I need to survive in this world:  money and health insurance.

The other things I would like in life:  personal fulfillment, friendship, a sense of belonging and self-worth:  these I must obtain elsewhere.  Isn't this how everyone else lives?

It's just that the work segment of my life is so negative that it drains my energy and enthusiasm for the other segments of my life.  The constant barrage of insults and attacks depletes me for life outside of work.  I am eyed with suspicion and accused so often that I've developed an apathetic attitude on the job, which then carries over into the rest of my life.

I have to work on the skill of compartmentalization.

1 comment:

  1. Hi, I've just found your blog today, and this post really hits home to me, as I've felt the same in the past. I've worked as a Vet Nurse for 8 years, quit that because of the emotional soul death mental health implosion entire life apocalypse type deal. I am now working hospital admin and applying for Paramedics or second choice would be Nursing. I have decided (and totally may change my mind!) that medicine is my passion, and all my other possibilities just don't get me as excited as that, so I'm pursuing it. But it is such a difficult industry. The compassion fatigue, feeling bad for your patients and seeing them not get the help they need. Feeling helpless that you can't fix the system, or wave your wand and get them new family members, or money. The mad hours and the shitty treatment from unhappy patients. All the other exhausted staff, getting sick easily because you're so run down... I know all that stuff and it's mostly stuff you can't change anyway.

    For me, the big change was quitting my job, and taking a few months to get my mental health back in order, with my doctor and my psych. I was lucky that I had parents who would take me in and help me financially while I did all this. I understand plenty of people don't have that. But you could look for other jobs? Is there a nursing union or employment agency that can help you with updating your resume and going through job ads? There was also organising all the other parts of my life so that when I did have shit days, I had the backup to deal with it at home.
    1. Eating properly. Meal planning and prepping on days off. Healthy snacks and having them on hand all the time. Slowly cutting out all the caffeine drinks and dropping the sugar binges.
    2. Sleep. Good actual blocks of sleep. Putting my phone/tv/computer away for a good hour or two before bedtime, to quiet down my mind. Some really easy yoga before. Setting out all my clothes and keys for the next day.
    3. Friend/partner time. Setting actual dates and times to hang. Doing fun simple stuff - picnics, hikes, blanket fort building, dvd nights, bowling.
    4. Feelings dump - if you have a psych - this is what they are for. Blurt everything out to them. This blog is also good too! Rant your little overworked heart out. Have a word document where you just write for 15 minutes when you come home, to save your cat from having to hear it all, save it and close it. Get those feelings out of your head.
    5. Exercise. Walking, running, cycling, strength training, group classes at the gym, swim, sport, pole dancing, anything you want. It's sooo good for improving my mood and it's instant.
    For me having all this other stuff sorted in my life, means that when I have shit days (even if they are every day) I come home and don't collapse from sugar crash and lack of proper sleep and injured back muscles and cry cos I can't remember I last saw my best friend. I mean sometimes I Do do that, but it's not every day. And I don't swing from crying when a patient needs a new bag of IV fluids to being stone faced apathetic when I have to pick up pieces of decomposing puppies.

    I hope that didn't come across as condascending - I totally don't mean it to. Tone is so hard to convey via online text! I just empathise with your shitty situation, and wanted to share what helps for me.

    I hope things improve. I really do.
    ~ Janey