Monday, June 18, 2018

What is Respect?

This captures what the employees of the hospital mean when they say "respect." I am so glad I found it.

I remember an aide with a big mouth and little work ethic yelling at me, in front of everyone, that I am to "respect" her and then, after a period of time determined by her, she would decide if she would "respect" me.

I understood that she was not using the word respect how I understood it. You cannot demand respect. I do not respect someone who screams at me, the charge nurse, and refuses her assignment whenever I work. She wanted to be in charge and I would not bend to her demands. In her mind, this was disrespecting her by not treating her as an authority.

We cannot both be the other's authority. The respect she might show me in the future would not be as an authority figure, but as a person.

I knew something was incongruent at the time, but the above explanation makes it clearer now.

What to do about it, I do not know.

Still Going

I have not written in a while.


Things were okay. Not great. But I was handling the situation.

My work output has slowed considerably. One cause is mental and physical exhaustion. The other is a lack of direction from every direction.

My security rests in the hands of two older women on the verge of retirement. They seem to like me, even though I am becoming increasingly prickly around the edges as time marches on.

I think I can replace one of the women. This will mean a pay raise- if the hospital plays fair, which they do not usually do. I anticipate a battle for this spot because:
1- it pays well.
2- people think the job involves no work.

Recently so much bad stuff has happened that I am once again overwhelmed.  I will explain in separate posts.

Thank you for reading and I hope that you are well.

Feel free to leave comments here.

Saturday, March 31, 2018

Left Alone

A nurse quit for another job.

I am proud of her and happy for her.

But she was one of my friends at the hospital.

I think she was the only friend I had left at the hospital, if I ever had any.

And she did not tell me she was leaving.

She was not at work for weeks. She did not answer her phone. I was concerned that she was ill.

She finally responded to me, explaining that she had found a new job and that we should get together soon.

I expressed my happiness for her, which soon faded when I found out that she sent an identical text to many other people.

I guess I was not so special to her.

I would have kept her secret.

Well, she helped me through some difficult times at that hospital, so I am thankful for the time she was in my life.


Monday, January 29, 2018

Elusive Sleep

Hello Everyone!

Sorry for the long time in between writings.

I am exhausted and in pain. All I want to do is sleep, but the pain keeps me awake.

But I keep working! I have to or I will not get paid and I will become homeless. Downward slide.

Will inform you of interesting updates in the coming days.

Thank you all for staying with me.

Tuesday, January 2, 2018

Stumbling Upon Secrets

This place has changed me.

I am defensive.

But I am not as manipulative as my coworkers. They are not nice, they do not play fair, and they do not stop.

One of the women whose office I cover is evil.

Recently, while covering her office, her memory stick called out with a blinking light.

I viewed the files. Please understand that I have no intention to do anything sinister with the information. In this situation, this information is power. What kind of power, I do not know.

I found:

-She is attending school for a Master’s degree. The quality of her papers leaves much to be desired. Evil Nurse Belle wrote several recommendations. Those two are thick as thieves.

-She is having financial problems. She is behind on her children’s tuition. She claims to be financially responsible for a deceased sister’s children. She wrote a letter to the director of the hospital for a raise outside the provisions of the contract.

I do not know what to do with this information, other than keep it to myself. It provides me with some insight into this woman’s situation. But my insight is often misplaced. Does it follow that her desperation for money will make her do something bad to me?