Monday, June 18, 2018
This captures what the employees of the hospital mean when they say "respect." I am so glad I found it.
I remember an aide with a big mouth and little work ethic yelling at me, in front of everyone, that I am to "respect" her and then, after a period of time determined by her, she would decide if she would "respect" me.
I understood that she was not using the word respect how I understood it. You cannot demand respect. I do not respect someone who screams at me, the charge nurse, and refuses her assignment whenever I work. She wanted to be in charge and I would not bend to her demands. In her mind, this was disrespecting her by not treating her as an authority.
We cannot both be the other's authority. The respect she might show me in the future would not be as an authority figure, but as a person.
I knew something was incongruent at the time, but the above explanation makes it clearer now.
What to do about it, I do not know.
Things were okay. Not great. But I was handling the situation.
My work output has slowed considerably. One cause is mental and physical exhaustion. The other is a lack of direction from every direction.
My security rests in the hands of two older women on the verge of retirement. They seem to like me, even though I am becoming increasingly prickly around the edges as time marches on.
I think I can replace one of the women. This will mean a pay raise- if the hospital plays fair, which they do not usually do. I anticipate a battle for this spot because:
1- it pays well.
2- people think the job involves no work.
Recently so much bad stuff has happened that I am once again overwhelmed. I will explain in separate posts.
Thank you for reading and I hope that you are well.
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